Joel
“Even when they are being little
pieces of snitzel”
Joel is a very kind, warm, easy going person, and a great
student as well. He is currently in 9th grade at Kennedy high school
and tries his very best on all his assignments and projects because grades are
very important to him. Joel isn’t someone people would typically consider a
sporty or athletic, but Joel does love using his brain. Joel enjoys working
with and using all types of technology. More specifically, he enjoys playing
games that allow him to be creative and be able to think.
Although Joel does
love technology, including phones and computers, Joel isn’t a very huge fan of
taking photos. This would probably one of the few things involving technology
that Joel isn’t interested in. He is scared that all the pictures may clog and
take up all his storage, and he also never really has urges to take photos
either.
Something that Joel
loves even more than technology is dogs. Joel very much enjoys the company of
dogs and in fact, even has one himself. Her name is Bella and she is currently
four years old. Joel even believes that the good qualities and traits of dogs
surely outweigh those of people. It’s not that Joel hates people and human
interactions, it’s just that he would definitely consider himself a dog person.
Then again, Joel is quite social with people as well, not just dogs. He
actually hangs out with his friends and siblings very often. Joel believes that
dogs give “unconditional love and are always happy” even when they are being
terribly annoying.
In conclusion, Joel would rather spend his time with dogs, a
great quality friend, rather than people. Even when they are being “little pieces
of snitzel,”they’re still better because according to Joel, dogs are definitely
way better.
Wow, I really like it! I'm worried mine isn't as good as this one, actually.
ReplyDeleteCorrection: Mine is nowhere near as good as this one.
DeleteIt's okay, I'm also worried about my writing
DeleteThis is a really good article!! I recommend adding a title so readers know what it's about, and maybe so commas to reduce run-ons.
ReplyDeleteI feel as though the photo portion does not add anything to the story, maybe instead of focusing on a subject that does not interest him, go more in depth about the technology he spends most of his time with, such as phones and computers. Overall, this is a well written piece. Great work!
ReplyDeleteI donno. I think that part is interesting. For most people, it seems like the technology they are MOST obsessed with is photos (especially on their phones). Maybe you could develop that angle into an observation about Joel as a person.
DeleteGood job with the flow. But to be completely honest I think you say his name to much. For other readers I think they would somewhat be like, "Wow, that says his name a lot." Ya know? You did a really good job!
ReplyDeleteI like it... but I think you kinda jumped around between topics. In all you did a great job.
ReplyDeleteThis article gives a great image of Joel as a person and it flows well although sometimes it seems you keep going on in a sentence. Your topics flow together pretty well and you give some great detail in all of them.
ReplyDeleteI like what you covered overall in the article, however I noticed a few spelling and grammatical errors that could be fixed by reading through it a few more times. Overall I think you have a good profile!
ReplyDeleteI really like this, I felt like I almost got to know Joel and see his personality even this was only a few paragraphs about his. It seems like Joel really values what he's saying and doing and I really caught onto that while reading this.
ReplyDeletethanks to this profile im glad i got to know joel more
ReplyDeleteI enjoyed the profile, and was very entertained by the opening quote, and the vivid description of Joel as a person. However, you did have some grammatical errors that can be fixed easily, but nothing major. Also, maybe you could use some broader word choice as well to keep the details as descriptive as possible. As a whole, the profile was very good and fun to read, you did a very good job.
ReplyDelete